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Hey There Vagina...

New Nerd MTV Show

This is a funny trailer for a new MTV show called "The Hard Times of RJ Berger". The show is about an ultra-nerd who accidentally gets naked in front of the whole school and instantly becomes more popular because...well, because he has a HUGE DICK.

Ever imagined how it feels to be like Adam and Eve?

Playful Filipino names hard to get used to.

Bizarre and often unflattering names are as quintessentially Filipino as the country's Catholic faith, friendly smiles, former US military jeeps known as jeepneys, beautiful beaches and love of karaoke.

On my first day in Manila, I walked down to the local cafe and was served by a smiling young girl who wore a name badge entitled BumBum.

I did a double-take, then smiled back, deciding it was probably a joke.

But if so, it is a joke that practically the whole country seems to be in on.

Since then I've met a Bambi, three Bogies, several Girlies, a Peanut, a Barbie and a middle-aged man called Babe.

These names are found in all sectors of society.

Sometimes they are nicknames, sometimes genuine first names - but they are always what people are referred to on a day-to-day basis.

Even the president is not spared. His real name is Benigno Aquino, but almost everyone here calls him Noynoy.

Two of his sisters are called Pinky and Ballsy. No-one seems to see the need to ask why.

Why would you call your children after the days of the week or your favourite desserts?

Neither does anyone question the integrity of Joker Arroyo, one of the country's most respected senators.

That is his real first name. Apparently he got it because of his father's fondness for playing cards.

Joker's brother is called Jack.

And it seems perfectly natural to Filipinos that the boxer Manny Paquiao should express his love for the British royal family by naming his daughter Queen Elizabeth.

Lost in translation?

So why do Filipinos have such odd, even risque, names?

This is not a translation issue, as most people speak English well, or well enough to know that BumBum, for example, is not exactly on the rest of the Anglophile world's list of popular baby names.

I rather tentatively brought the subject up at a dinner party full of lawyers, academics and business people.

Many of them were surprised - they had simply never thought of these names as having any kind of negative connotation.

But once we started discussing it, they did agree that, to outsiders at least, it all might sound a bit strange. Soon a heated debate began.

Perhaps it was because of the propensity of Filipinos to have large, tight-knit families, some of them said.

A man called Babe or Honey Boy, for instance, is probably the youngest member of that generation in the family.

It suited him when he was two years old - now he is a slightly overweight businessman in his 50s, why change it?

But nicknames are not always given when people are young.

The former president Joseph Estrada is more commonly known as Erap - a name he acquired in his 20s.

When spelt backwards, Erap becomes Pare, which means mate or buddy in the national language Tagalog.

Other guests thought that nicknames came about because of a need for individuality.

When I'm introduced to a Dinky or a Dunce, or read about people called Bing and Bong, it seems almost normal

People here often have the same Christian name as their parents.

Former Congressman Ace Barbers, who, like Joker Arroyo, obviously had a card-player in the family, has the Christian name Robert, but so do his father and all his brothers.

He clearly has not found it a problem as he named his four sons Robert too. Nicknames must be essential in their house.

'Melting pot'

The conversation soon turned to the fact that the Philippines is a melting pot of different cultures, and perhaps that is what led to these strange names.


The president himself is a good example. His full Christian name is Benigno Simeon Cojuangco, names which are Spanish, Hebrew and Chinese respectively. His nickname Noynoy is the only part that is truly Filipino.

A well-used adage here is that the Philippines spent 400 years in a convent then 50 years in Hollywood, referring to Spanish then American colonial rule.

The Spanish introduced the concept of surnames - in fact they issued a decree in 1849 that everyone had to have a surname.

So even today, most surnames are Spanish.

But the main thing Spain gave to the Philippines was Catholicism, and with it, tens of thousands of newly-christened Marias and Joses.

With the Americans came names like Butch, Buffy and Junior - and the propensity to shorten everything if at all possible.

Perhaps it is the combination of these two influences which has led to names like Jejomar - short for Jesus Joseph Mary.

The current vice president is called Jejomar Binay.

I think it is great that BumBum can wear her name badge with pride

Even the large Chinese community here has not escaped this national name game.

Their surnames are often a form of Anglicised Chinese, but sometimes the Philippine penchant for fun shines through.

I have heard of a Van Go, a John F Kenneth Dee and an Ivan Ho.

But there are some names that just defy explanation.

Why would you call your children after the days of the week or your favourite desserts? To many Filipinos, a better question to ask is: "Why wouldn't you?"

I have been living here for a while now, and I have got used to all these names.

When I'm introduced to a Dinky or a Dunce, or read about people called Bing and Bong, it seems almost normal.

In fact, if anything, I rather like the fact that Filipinos are self-assured enough to use these names, no matter how odd they sound or how senior the person's public role.

But my assimilation is not quite complete.

While I think it is great that BumBum can wear her name badge with pride, I'm not quite ready to adopt a Philippine nickname myself just yet.


Ah the Philippines where people are called by doorbell sounds.

Legitimate nicknames I've come across over there are:

Bing
Bong
Ding
Dong

And of course the duplicate doorbell names like

Bing-Bing
Bong-Bong
Ding-Ding
Dong-Dong

and inevitably the combination doorbell sounds.

Bing-Bong
Ding-Dong.


By Kate McGeown
BBC News, Manila

..these times are hard...

Waiting On Sex Before Marriage

In this day and age, you would be realistically able to date a guy/girl who didn't want to have sex before you were both married. Ideally, the fairy tale is that on the night of your wedding, you would consummate the union with an all night porkfest. But those traditional ways seems to no longer be practiced anymore.

I have no friends who are a "couple" that aren't currently having sex. Is it impossible to wait? How important is making sure you are sexually compatible with your partner before you both decide to get married? Or perhaps even more realistically, can you control your sexual desires and wait it out?

Can you wait on sex until marriage?

Creative PINOY Meals

AS YOU GO ON, IT BECOMES INTERESTING AND MORE FLAVORFUL!

MENU:

1. TAPSILOG - Tapa, Sinangag, Itlog

2. LONGSILOG - Longganisa, Sinangag, Itlog

3. HOTSILOG - Hotdog, Sinangag, Itlog

4. PORKSILOG - Pork, Sinangag, Itlog

5. CHICKSILOG - Chicken, Sinangag Itlog

6. AZUCARERA - Adobong Aso

7. LUGLOG - Lugaw, Itlog

8. PAKAPLOG - Pandesal, Kape, Itlog

9. KALOG - Kanin, Itlog

10. PAKALOG - Pandesal, Kanin, Itlog

11. MAALOG NA BETLOG - Maalat na Itlog, Pakbet, Itlog

12. BAHAW - Bakang Inihaw (akala ninyo kaning lamig ano)

13. KALKAL - Kalderetang Kalabaw

14. HIMAS - Hipon Malasado

15. HIMAS SUSO - Hipon Malasado, Sugpo, Keso

16. HIMAS PEKPEK - Hipon Malasado, Kropek, Pinekpekan

17. PEKPEK MONG MALAKI - Kropek, Pinekpekan, Monggo, Malasado, Laing, Kilawin

18. DILA - Dinuguan, Laing

19. DILAAN MO - Dinuguan, Laing, Dalandan, Molo

20. BOKA BOKA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape

21. BOKA BOKA MO PA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape, Molong Pancit

22. KANTOT - Kanin, Tortang Talong

23. KANTOT PA - Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit

24. SIGE KANTOT PA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit

25. SIGE KANTOT PA IBAON MO - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin,Tortang Talong, Pancit - Take out

26. SIGE KANTOT PA HA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin,Tortang Talong, Pancit, Halo-halo

27. SIGE KANTOT PA IBAON MO PAPA! - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit... (Take out with Ketchup)

28. PAKANTOT - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong

29. PAPAKANTOT - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong

30. PAPAKANTOT KA BA - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kapeng Barako

31. PAKANTOT SA YO - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong,Saging + Yosi

32. PAKANTOT KA - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong,Kape

33. PAKANTOT KA HABANG MATIGAS PA - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kape, Inihaw na Bangus, Maruya,Tinola, Ginisang Aso, Pancit

34. SUBO! - Sugpo, Bopis

35. SUBO MO - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo

36. SUBO MO PA - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Pancit

37. SUBO MO PA MAIGE - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Mais, Pige

38. SUBO MO TITE KO - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola, Teryaki,Kochinta

39. SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola Teryaki, Kochinta, Bihon, Tawilis

NOW, YOU BELIEVE, FILIPINO CUISINE CAN BE SO
APPETIZING, SERVE WITH SIZZLING LIBIDO..

Things you don't want to hear during your own surgery.

-san yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to?

-10ml? may nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!

-doc, ubos na po pala yung anesthesia.

-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?

-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!

Kids...

G: Yes
B: No
G: I said yes
B: I said No
G: If I say yes, i say yes, and i said no, and no
B: NOOOO
G: i said no
B: I said no first
G: I said no first
B: No I said no first
G: I said no first
B: BE QUIET
G: you be quiet
B: No you be quiet now
G: You be quiet Im 4 you not 4
B: now im a 4, you..???????
G: You are not 4 Im 4
B: No I do, you're disrespectin'
G: You are bad
B: No you are bad
G: Ima tell your mom you are go home
B: GO!

(best argument ever)

MMA Double Knockout!

I've always thought that mixed martial arts is a serious sport and something not to be laughed at --- until this..

Tutti Frutti Summer Love

WTF @ 3:15!??

You Don't Love Me Anymore...

Youtube War!

Yesterday, I mean the day before yesterday..

totep: emo.

latino: how is this emo? stop fukin leavn messages that have no sense

totep: oh uhm...sorry, i should have said , suicidal?

latino: ok so its suicidal when a guy likes a girl so much he is willing to give up his live for her? so is it suicidal if a country goes to war to protect their country because they love it? or why is this a suicidal song?

totep: die

latino: right bak at u

skater: Yeah, lets call a song emo and suicidal, but tell someone to die. Are you fucking kidding me? Shut up.

totep: hey skater, have u seen any message from me that ive cursed someone else on this page? NO, ryt? i just said emo. whats wrong with that? y did this mexican borrito started an argument on me? i didnt hit him first ryt? emos!

totep: hey borrito, yes! giving up ur life for someone is suicidal. and bcoz this is what those emo guys are listening to when their broke, the nxt thing u know, they already have this rediculous hairstyles and red make up. wait? are u the one who wrote this song? y u seem so affected? are u trying to commit suicide? lol

latino: ok u tell me u jump in front of a bullet goin to someone else u love deeply and unfortunatly u die is that suicidal? is it suicidal when u protect ur family or someone u love and unfortunatly u die but u got to save them? is that suicidal? and justc uz u have a broken heart dont mean u gonna b emo ive been heart broken b4 and ive listened to this song and it makes shit better and no i aint tryin to commit suicide and no i didnt make this song im just tired of fukers like u sayin shit

skater: You told him to die, ain't much of a difference. I doubt very many people here actually are emo. I like this song, my friend sent it to me before she ran away. I listen to a shit ton of hip hop. Suicidal would be ending your life in a selfish way, not for a friend. Jumping in front of a fucking bullet headed towards your little sister wouldn't be suicidal.

totep: why am i wasting my time on u emo-skater boy? respect my opinion about this and keep ur fcking mouth shut. get some education. go to iraq and take some bullets for urself.. learn to respect others opinion. trasher!

totep: ei u mexicano shit..de puta madre or however it is u say in ur native borrito language. fck u and ur emo bullshit, go be a hero, i dont give a damn about u. u full of hate stupid pinyata. go see a doctor. EMO fck! go to iraq and take some bullets, go with that stupid fcking skaterboi.

latino: ay fuck u puto verga go suck on ur mamas pija dont b sayin shit bout my country and people pinche polar bear i guess u would never give ur life for anyone since u prob too stupid too know who is good in ur life one mexican died attackin an armed man shootin up a place but he died in the process of savin many people but ur the one thats makin full of hate sayin shit without even knowing wat u talkin about and i cant even ride a fuken skateboard pinche gringo pendejo

totep: hahaha, this is so much fun than i've ever imagined..

(all because of this song: Your Guardian Angel - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)

Jonestown Massacre

A great documentary on cult leader Jim Jones and the infamous suicides in Guyana.